I woke up this morning with what should have been a great and energized mood but was rather in fact the makings of a throat cold in the works.

Why else wasn�t I my usual happy and �optimistic� self you ask? Well, today I had a scheduled meeting with my boss regarding the specifics of this new position / promotion that she so raved about for the last three weeks. Over those last few weeks I watched the budget get butchered from 50K to � oh God � this is pathetic � 35K! Who did this you ask? Oh that would be our sloth-like fat ass executive director who is on his way out the door (retiring in half a year) and is greedily digging for more cash that he can ass rape out of this organization � including this grant which he was almost responsible for us not having gotten because of his abusive, ignorant and completely unprofessional business acumen (or lack of). So Jabba (aka fat bastard) gets a fucking finder�s fee of 15K while I get dumped with the workload of 3 three people � oh yea, and I�m still my boss�s administrative bitch when she needs me to be. Walking out of that conference room I really felt like a rape victim. I had to swallow that shit but I was actually asked to enjoy it and feel lucky. Oh yea, good times!

The irony (oh but on so many levels its hard to really capture it in this state) is that this new �Smoking Cessation Initiative� is going to drive me to start smoking again! The urge to go buy a pack of cigarettes right this very minute has *never* been as strong since I quit exactly two months ago.

Fear not! I�ve already bought (to be paid with my next paycheck � haha! Fuckers!!) two sad ass dime bags from our mailroom guy which I intend to smoke myself silly with � oh yea, right after my final exam tonight which I�m sure, coupled with the torture of this oncoming cold that I�m ignoring and the gimping I�ve just received, will put an end to this ridiculous day.

Sometimes there are days that make you just look in the mirror and ask yourself �

�What the fuck am I doing?�