when it comes down to it... weddings are damn expensive. fortunately the one i'm going to this weekend will not require overnight accommodation because it�s just downtown and shouldn't cost more than a $10 cab ride.

i'm also getting used to living in a big empty apartment. though it is a very empty and cold feeling when you walk into the place.

i've been thinking of what i should do on my birfday this saturday that would be significant and memorable even in the slightest way since in the last few years they've been depressing, boring or at best, uneventful. i think the weather might be nice. just a walk to the park would probably be nice. i feel ashamed i haven't even done that this whole spring.

i guess i'm feeling a little nature deprived lately which would make sense since in the last few years i've always rode my bike to work.

the last two weeks i've been to the store i've been craving a bottle of wine or some type of alcohol. i've refrained from drinking these last few weeks mostly because its such an unproductive substance and my whole life's been all about getting shit done in these last few months. i guess my body's like "what happened?!"

again i've planned to spend my birthday working or doing some other such unpleasant thing when i should probably just get a bottle of wine and jog to the park to drink it! is it sad when all you want to do for your birthday is be an outdoor drinking bum? (i don't think so.)

speaking of outdoor drinking... st. thomas is a go this summer. since i couldn't afford to go to Yugoslavia with the rest of my family and friends i will take my vacation time and head to st. thomas at the end of august to do 2 weeks of morning, noon, and night drinking. i wish i was there now.

i've invited a few people but you never really know until a few weeks away who's going to go. it would be so nice if my friend Suzanne from Holland could meet me there again. she was the perfect drinking beach companion. we could both sit in the sun drinking for 8-10hrs a day. now i ask you, if it�s so unhealthy and bad to do that then why does it feel so good?